![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
Chapter Twenty -- Xenophilius Lovegood
Jan. 28th, 2008 07:57 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
gehayi.livejournal.comThis is ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
smurasaki's spork, and an outstanding job, too.
****
In which there is much inconsistency, the Trio prove themselves dim and unobservant even by wizarding standards, and they finally take a break from wandering in the woods.
Chapter Twenty: Xenophilius Lovegood
( Also, the Trio misunderstands logic, symbols are set in stone forever, and Chekhov's gun...er, horn...is hanging on the wall. )
smurasaki's spork, and an outstanding job, too.****
In which there is much inconsistency, the Trio prove themselves dim and unobservant even by wizarding standards, and they finally take a break from wandering in the woods.
( Also, the Trio misunderstands logic, symbols are set in stone forever, and Chekhov's gun...er, horn...is hanging on the wall. )
gehayi.livejournal.comAnd here is melange1's spork. Poor guy. Harry is so outstandingly stupid here that I truly pity melange1. Newsflash, Rowling--a person doesn't have to be dumb to get into dramatic situations!
***
Chapter Nineteen: The Silver Doe
( In which Harry goes out of his way to get into yet another trap, Ron asks a Most Excellent Question, Voldemort ships H/Hr, the Harry/Ron is obvious, and Hermione demonstrates that abuse means never having to say you're sorry. )
melange1's spork. Poor guy. Harry is so outstandingly stupid here that I truly pity melange1. Newsflash, Rowling--a person doesn't have to be dumb to get into dramatic situations!***
( In which Harry goes out of his way to get into yet another trap, Ron asks a Most Excellent Question, Voldemort ships H/Hr, the Harry/Ron is obvious, and Hermione demonstrates that abuse means never having to say you're sorry. )
Chapter Nineteen - The Silver Doe
Jan. 27th, 2008 04:55 pmerastes.livejournal.comIn which Harry does nothing except find the first trap - and then the second trap - that's offered to him, Ron is magnificent (and very astute) and Hermione is once again, psychotic.
Chapter Nineteen
The Silver Doe
( And I wonder if anyone remembers what the inside of this tent is supposed to look like.... )
Chapter Nineteen
The Silver Doe
( And I wonder if anyone remembers what the inside of this tent is supposed to look like.... )
gehayi.livejournal.comIn which Rita Skeeter dishes serious dirt, Dumbledore goes in for what he considers semi-benevolent despotism, Aberforth suspects DD of murder, Harry finally realises that Dumbledore Is Not What He Seemed, Rowling is cavalier about World War II, and I nearly lose my lunch.
Chapter Eighteen -- The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore
( Springtime for D-dore and Grindelwald / Winter for Harry and us... )
( Springtime for D-dore and Grindelwald / Winter for Harry and us... )
Chapter Seventeen -- Bathilda's Secret
Jan. 25th, 2008 12:30 amgehayi.livejournal.comIn which the entire series is proven to be impossible, the Duo goes out of their way to fall into a trap, Rowling abuses ellipses and colons, a powerful, muscular mass slides over Harry as he smashes to the floor, and zombies RULE.
Chapter Seventeen – Bathilda's Secret
( Snakes. Why'd it have to be snakes? )
( Snakes. Why'd it have to be snakes? )
Chapter Sixteen -- Godric's Hollow
Jan. 24th, 2008 12:07 pmgehayi.livejournal.comIn which Hermione can't tell printed words from graffiti, the Duo jumps to unfounded conclusions, Harry attempts to out-angst Angel the Vampire, wizards quote the Bible, and Ron looks more and more intelligent for walking out.
Chapter Sixteen -- Godric’s Hollow
( Also, a Muggle couple is endangered by the supposed Good Guys, and Harry realizes repeatedly that his parents are dead. )
( Also, a Muggle couple is endangered by the supposed Good Guys, and Harry realizes repeatedly that his parents are dead. )
gehayi.livejournal.comConsider this comparative literary analysis, if you will.
This is one of two chapters going up today; Chapter 16 is going up this afternoon. This is not, please note, in any way criticism ofslashpine's work. It's more a case of "erastes was nearly done when the chapter was posted, and her take on Chapter 15 and slashpine's are both excellent and very, very different."
And so I'm posting this forerastes--she's going off to see Sweeney Todd this evening.
And now, on with the spork.
***
In which Harry is either John the Baptist or Jesus or something but with NO LOVE, Ted and Dean have a date, newspapers grow legs and Ron does the only sensible thing he's done since wizard chess.
Chapter 15 -- The Goblin's Revenge
( Also, Gryffindors suffer from ethical and moral confusion, and the Trio starves for no reason save that it is Romantical. )
This is one of two chapters going up today; Chapter 16 is going up this afternoon. This is not, please note, in any way criticism of
slashpine's work. It's more a case of "erastes was nearly done when the chapter was posted, and her take on Chapter 15 and slashpine's are both excellent and very, very different."And so I'm posting this for
erastes--she's going off to see Sweeney Todd this evening. And now, on with the spork.
***
In which Harry is either John the Baptist or Jesus or something but with NO LOVE, Ted and Dean have a date, newspapers grow legs and Ron does the only sensible thing he's done since wizard chess.
( Also, Gryffindors suffer from ethical and moral confusion, and the Trio starves for no reason save that it is Romantical. )
CHAPTER 15: The Goblin's Revenge
Jan. 23rd, 2008 01:57 amslashpine.livejournal.comIn which the Trio whine about the lack of food, Ron whines about everything, Harry fails to come up with a plan, and the camping trip drags on endlessly.
( three teenagers in a tent whose only achievement was not to be dead (just dead boring) )
( three teenagers in a tent whose only achievement was not to be dead (just dead boring) )
CHAPTER 14: The Thief
Jan. 23rd, 2008 01:46 amslashpine.livejournal.comSorry, peeps. Mom's elderly dog died and I just spent a very long weekend 500 miles away helping her get over the suddenly lonely house, the excessive amounts of snow, and the various things that went out of commission in the cold and the snow, like her wireless. In short, I've been AFK. I hang my head in shame. Most of my to-do's for the weekend fell straight out of my head.
And now for CHAPTER 14: The Thief.
In which Harry mistakes his friend Ron for a foot, Hermione explains to Harry that everything happened in The Action Offstage between the end of the last chapter and the beginning of this, and there is No Action Onstage, in order to keep from confusing Harry with Plot or the author with a Writer.
Harry opened his eyes and… he had no idea what had happened.
( And this is different, how? )
And now for CHAPTER 14: The Thief.
In which Harry mistakes his friend Ron for a foot, Hermione explains to Harry that everything happened in The Action Offstage between the end of the last chapter and the beginning of this, and there is No Action Onstage, in order to keep from confusing Harry with Plot or the author with a Writer.
Harry opened his eyes and… he had no idea what had happened.
( And this is different, how? )
Change in Policy
Jan. 22nd, 2008 03:48 pmgehayi.livejournal.comPeople--
So far two people have bailed on their sporkings, and today's sporking isn't up yet. I'm getting more than a little irritated. You had months to get the sporks done. And I've told you repeatedly that if you're having problems getting the sporkings done, you only have to tellerastes or me, and we will find a substitute.
For a comm like this to work, we need sporkers to participate. I don't think that asking you either to do the spork you signed up for or to notify the mods if, for whatever reason, you can't do the spork is asking too much.
erastes and I have talked it over, and we've decided that while we don't want to close the comm, there is going to have to be a change in policy. Since sporks aren't getting done, and since contacting people is not having the desired effect either, this is what will happen:
As self-posting is not working, from now on, everyone send their sporks to us, at least three days before they are due. EVERYONE. Check the schedule to see when your spork is due. We will then post the sporks for you in your names.
If you don't send us the spork, we will presume that you have not done the work, and will do the spork ourselves. And we will mention that this was supposed to be So-and-So's spork.
That's IT.
So far two people have bailed on their sporkings, and today's sporking isn't up yet. I'm getting more than a little irritated. You had months to get the sporks done. And I've told you repeatedly that if you're having problems getting the sporkings done, you only have to tell
erastes or me, and we will find a substitute.For a comm like this to work, we need sporkers to participate. I don't think that asking you either to do the spork you signed up for or to notify the mods if, for whatever reason, you can't do the spork is asking too much.
erastes and I have talked it over, and we've decided that while we don't want to close the comm, there is going to have to be a change in policy. Since sporks aren't getting done, and since contacting people is not having the desired effect either, this is what will happen:As self-posting is not working, from now on, everyone send their sporks to us, at least three days before they are due. EVERYONE. Check the schedule to see when your spork is due. We will then post the sporks for you in your names.
If you don't send us the spork, we will presume that you have not done the work, and will do the spork ourselves. And we will mention that this was supposed to be So-and-So's spork.
That's IT.
anitaray.livejournal.comActually, I'm stepping on ![[info]](https://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
oblivionhold 's turf here - no offence meant. But in the interest of keeping the sporkage going, I'm posting a spork of Chapter 13.
I'll be happy to take it down ifoblivionhold comes by to drop his/her chapter off. :)
On with it, then.
In which "Plans" fail, Logic extends her vacation from the book, Ron Weasley proves himself an utter liability and JKR tries to put one over us too many times to count.
gehayi.livejournal.comThis might be of interest to some of you.
thetreacletart has a poll on her LJ regarding Harry Potter--inconsistencies, unanswered questions, the ending, and so on. You answer in the comments.
If you wish, please go over there and offer your articulate and intelligent opinions regarding the series. I only ask that you be polite and comment while signed in and using your screen name.
thetreacletart has a poll on her LJ regarding Harry Potter--inconsistencies, unanswered questions, the ending, and so on. You answer in the comments.If you wish, please go over there and offer your articulate and intelligent opinions regarding the series. I only ask that you be polite and comment while signed in and using your screen name.
Chapter Twelve Magic is Might
Jan. 19th, 2008 12:07 amerastes.livejournal.comIn which the Trio tell us what they are doing - As They DO IT, Hermione injures a theatre for no reason, Harry does NOTHING and I nearly commit suicide by keyboard
( Hara Kiri )
( Hara Kiri )
Chapter Eleven -- The Bribe
Jan. 18th, 2008 01:16 pmgehayi.livejournal.comoblivionhold said she couldn't do all three chapters, so I'm doing Chapter 11, erastes is doing Chapter 12, and oblivionhold is doing Chapter 13.In which Harry reads the newspaper repeatedly, Lupin sounds like Data from Star Trek: The Next Generation, Harry advises Lupin on his love life, Kreacher plays "bad cop," and the illogic becomes overwhelming.
( Also, I lose count of how often Rowling contradicts her own canon. )
Chapter Ten: Kreacher's Tale
Jan. 17th, 2008 12:01 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
minkhollowIn which Harry has existential angst over a manipulative git, the Trio isn't up to full processing speed on a couple of fronts, and the sporker's inner Regulus brings the sarcasm to the party.
( this time, in Potter's Sprog and the Lack of Common Sense... )
( this time, in Potter's Sprog and the Lack of Common Sense... )
Chapter Nine -- A Place to Hide
Jan. 16th, 2008 12:24 amgehayi.livejournal.comThis was supposed to be ciumsfri's chapter. However, there was a bit of a gap between signups and postings, and—well, I've been trying to get in touch with her for some time, but I can't. Her LJ is dead, so there are no posts I can comment on; she has no contact e-mail or chat names; ciumsfri[at]livejournal[dot]com does not work; and I'm unable to send her what I keep thinking of as an LJ AIM. I'm all out of options, frankly.
So I posted this to keep the schedule going. If she appears and posts--fine, we'll have two sporkings of one chapter, and my deepest apologies--I don't want to step on anyone's feelings, truly. I just didn't know what else to do when a sporker disappeared.
In view of this fact, I'd appreciate it if all of you who are signed up for future sporkings would post your e-mails in your profiles. It's difficult for me to contact you or confirm that you're posting if I can't get in touch with you with relative ease. So please. For the sanity of your mods, PLEASE supply contact information.
And if you can't do the work—tell us.
Now, on to the spork.
In which Suemione owns a TARDIS, the Trio abandons an innocent to her death, Rowling forgets something she told us three chapters ago, Grimmauld Place is rigged up like Disney's Haunted Mansion, and Harry envisions Draco's face while being spread-eagled on the floor.
Chapter Nine -- A Place to Hide
( Also, two Death Eaters disguise themselves as Muggles. Who'd have thunk it? )
ciumsfri's chapter. However, there was a bit of a gap between signups and postings, and—well, I've been trying to get in touch with her for some time, but I can't. Her LJ is dead, so there are no posts I can comment on; she has no contact e-mail or chat names; ciumsfri[at]livejournal[dot]com does not work; and I'm unable to send her what I keep thinking of as an LJ AIM. I'm all out of options, frankly. So I posted this to keep the schedule going. If she appears and posts--fine, we'll have two sporkings of one chapter, and my deepest apologies--I don't want to step on anyone's feelings, truly. I just didn't know what else to do when a sporker disappeared.
In view of this fact, I'd appreciate it if all of you who are signed up for future sporkings would post your e-mails in your profiles. It's difficult for me to contact you or confirm that you're posting if I can't get in touch with you with relative ease. So please. For the sanity of your mods, PLEASE supply contact information.
And if you can't do the work—tell us.
Now, on to the spork.
In which Suemione owns a TARDIS, the Trio abandons an innocent to her death, Rowling forgets something she told us three chapters ago, Grimmauld Place is rigged up like Disney's Haunted Mansion, and Harry envisions Draco's face while being spread-eagled on the floor.
( Also, two Death Eaters disguise themselves as Muggles. Who'd have thunk it? )
Revised Schedule
Jan. 15th, 2008 03:46 pmgehayi.livejournal.comHi. Because the last chapter was posted on the fifteenth, not the fourteenth, I'm going to revise the posting dates upwards by one day. The new schedule is as follows:
Chapter Nine: A Place to Hide - to be sporked by ciumsfri on January 16th. Sporked by gehayi on January 16th.
Chapter Ten: Kreacher's Tale - to be sporked by minkhollow on January 17th.
Chapter Eleven: The Bribe - to be sporked by oblivionhold on January 18th. Sporked by gehayi on January 18th.
Chapter Twelve: Magic is Might - to be sporked by oblivionhold on January 19th. Sporked by erastes on January 19th.
Chapter Thirteen: The Muggle-Born Registration Commission - to be sporked by oblivionhold on January 20th. Sporked by anitaray on January 21st.
Chapter Fourteen: The Thief -to be sporked by slashpine on January 22nd. Sporked by slashpine on January 23rd.
Chapter Fifteen: The Goblin's Revenge -to be sporked by slashpine on January 23rd. Sporked by slashpine on January 23rd. Also sporked by erastes on January 24th.
Chapter Sixteen: Godric's Hollow - Sporked by gehayi on January 24th.
Chapter Seventeen: Bathilda's Secret - Sporked by gehayi on January 25th.
Chapter Eighteen: The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore - to be sporked by gehayi on January 26th.
Chapter Nineteen: The Silver Doe - to be sporked by melange1 on January 27th.
Chapter Twenty: Xenophilius Lovegood - to be sporked by smurasaki on January 28th.
Chapter Twenty-One: The Tale of the Three Brothers - to be sporked by quinby on January 29th.
Chapter Twenty-Two: The Deathly Hallows - to be sporked by smurasaki on January 30th.
Chapter Twenty-Three: Malfoy Manor - to be sporked by gehayi on January 31st.
Chapter Twenty-Four: The Wandmaker - to be sporked by asphodeline on February 1st.
Chapter Twenty-Five: Shell Cottage - to be sporked by erastes on February 2nd.
Chapter Twenty-Six: Gringotts - to be sporked by minkhollow on February 3rd.
Chapter Twenty-Seven: The Final Hiding Place - to be sporked byerastes on February 4th.
Chapter Twenty-Eight: The Missing Mirror - to be sporked bygehayi on February 5th.
Chapter Twenty-Nine: The Lost Diadem - to be sporked byquinby on February 6th.
Chapter Thirty: The Sacking of Severus Snape - to be sporked byanitaray on February 7th.
Chapter Thirty-One: The Battle of Hogwarts - to be sporked byanitaray on February 8th.
Chapter Thirty-Two: The Elder Wand - to be sporked byquinby on February 9th.
Chapter Thirty-Three: The Prince's Tale - to be sporked byerastes on February 10th.
Chapter Thirty-Four: The Forest Again - to be sporked byquinby on February 11th.
Chapter Thirty-Five: King's Cross - to be sporked bygehayi on February 12th.
Chapter Thirty-Six: The Flaw in the Plan - to be sporked bybee_in_a_garden on February 13th.
Epilogue: Nineteen Years Later - to be sporked byenolabloodygay on February 14th.
***
If you aren't going to be online on your scheduled date, or you have limited Internet access, send Erastes and myself the sporking ahead of time, and one of us will post it for you.
ciumsfri on January 16th.gehayi on January 16th.minkhollow on January 17th.oblivionhold on January 18th.gehayi on January 18th.oblivionhold on January 19th.erastes on January 19th.oblivionhold on January 20th.anitaray on January 21st.Chapter Fourteen: The Thief -
slashpine on January 22nd.slashpine on January 23rd. Chapter Fifteen: The Goblin's Revenge -
slashpine on January 23rd.slashpine on January 23rd. Also sporked by erastes on January 24th.gehayi on January 24th.gehayi on January 25th.gehayi on January 26th.melange1 on January 27th.smurasaki on January 28th.quinby on January 29th.smurasaki on January 30th.gehayi on January 31st.asphodeline on February 1st.erastes on February 2nd.minkhollow on February 3rd.Chapter Twenty-Seven: The Final Hiding Place - to be sporked by
erastes on February 4th.Chapter Twenty-Eight: The Missing Mirror - to be sporked by
gehayi on February 5th.Chapter Twenty-Nine: The Lost Diadem - to be sporked by
quinby on February 6th.Chapter Thirty: The Sacking of Severus Snape - to be sporked by
anitaray on February 7th.Chapter Thirty-One: The Battle of Hogwarts - to be sporked by
anitaray on February 8th.Chapter Thirty-Two: The Elder Wand - to be sporked by
quinby on February 9th.Chapter Thirty-Three: The Prince's Tale - to be sporked by
erastes on February 10th.Chapter Thirty-Four: The Forest Again - to be sporked by
quinby on February 11th.Chapter Thirty-Five: King's Cross - to be sporked by
gehayi on February 12th.Chapter Thirty-Six: The Flaw in the Plan - to be sporked by
bee_in_a_garden on February 13th.Epilogue: Nineteen Years Later - to be sporked by
enolabloodygay on February 14th.***
If you aren't going to be online on your scheduled date, or you have limited Internet access, send Erastes and myself the sporking ahead of time, and one of us will post it for you.
Chapter Eight: The Wedding
Jan. 15th, 2008 11:48 amlogansrogue.livejournal.comChapter Eight: The Wedding
In which a lot of time is wasted describing a hideous wedding and nothing interesting really happens until the end of the chapter.
( So Harry is waiting... )
In which a lot of time is wasted describing a hideous wedding and nothing interesting really happens until the end of the chapter.
( So Harry is waiting... )
gehayi.livejournal.comIn which Harry is given A Big Honking Clue, Ginny gives Harry a cheap present, Frodo Harry inherits the One Ring Snitch, nobody understands the law, and Rowling wins the title of Anti-Feminist Writer.
Chapter Seven -- The Will of Albus Dumbledore
( Also, Harry learns to tie his sneakers. Really. )
( Also, Harry learns to tie his sneakers. Really. )
